Who Dat?
Dialogue Attribution.
The process of attributing dialogue is something that rarely gets the attention it deserves. Writers are often praised for their skilful use of speech. A good scribe can paint a picture of a character with just a few spoken words. They can demonstrate their emotions without needing to actually tell you how they are feeling.
Most importantly, the reader should never lose track of which character is actually doing the speaking.
But none of that is possible without support from outside the speech marks.
Yet this is rarely mentioned, in part, because if it is done properly, it is essentially invisible to the reader. That lack of visibility is something that is key to this whole topic.
All You Need Is He Said/She Said.
It has been claimed by some that these two tags are all a good writer needs. If there are more than two characters, or they are both the same gender, then ‘Bob said’, ‘Alice said’ and ‘Charlie said’ should suffice.
This seems somewhat restrictive – and probably flies in the face of what you learned in school. There, we are taught to avoid repetition at all costs, and to expand our written vocabulary using synonyms. We are also encouraged to modify our tags to highlight what the character is feeling.
- “Go away,” he said.
- “Go away,” he said angrily.
- “Go away,” he said wearily.
- “Go away,” he shouted.
- “Go away,” he shouted angrily.
- “Go away,” he whispered.
- “Go away,” he whispered urgently.
These examples above show the same two words uttered in seven different ways, with the character’s delivery of them determined by the words surrounding them.
Taken out of context, the first example is impossible to render. The voice you hear in your head when reading it probably says more about what you are feeling than the character is feeling.
But that’s the point, it’s taken out of context. In a book, that dialogue would be nestled within the story. Hopefully there is enough information surrounding it that you can infer the emotion based on what else is, or has, taken place.
So why this advice?
First of all, I think it is too absolutist. There’s no question that writing that is stuffed with synonyms for ‘said’ can feel amateurish. Read the dialogue below and see how it feels.
“I don’t believe him,” said Warren.
“Me neither,” agreed Sutton.
“Oh, come on!” Hutchinson shouted, exasperated.
“No, I think you are right,” interjected Hardwick.
“I don’t trust him either,” Ruskin piped up.
“He’s done this before,” Grayson added.
“Fine, I’ll prove it,” Hutchinson huffed. “I’ll bring in the photo of Elvis holding me as a baby in Vegas.”
“Will it be as convincing as that John Lennon look-a-like your Dad told you you’d met as a kid?” asked Sutton.
“That wasn’t my fault,” grumbled Hutchinson, embarrassed. “Dad always liked a joke.”
“The date on the photo was June 1981; he died in December 1980!” Warren laughed.
“Well this photo was taken in 1975,” Hutchinson insisted triumphantly. “When he was at the height of his powers.”
The above exchange is frankly exhausting to read (and even more so to write). The word ‘said’ is used only once, with a further 10 synonyms.
In my opinion (and it is my opinion, others may disagree), writers should strive to minimise synonyms for said, but not to exclude them entirely. Their periodic use lends variety to a piece of prose.
I see nothing wrong with the occasional use of ‘he asked’ when a character has asked a question – however, the presence of a question mark should tell us that it us a query, making it slightly redundant.
Stop shouting at me!
Like many writers, I shun the use of exclamation marks where possible (see #Tip115). If you need them to tell the reader that something is dramatic, you probably haven’t written it dramatically enough. However, they can have their uses in dialogue. They can be used instead of telling the reader a character is shouting.
For example.
“Warren, come here,” Susan shouted.
I think this looks more impactful with an exclamation mark.
“Warren, come here!” shouted Susan.
If the reader already knows who is doing the shouting, then you may be able to eliminate the dialogue tag entirely.
Susan shone her torch into the darkened room. “Warren!”
Dialogue attribution is an essential tool in any writer’s arsenal. For that reason, I am going to continue this theme in a later tip.
What are your thoughts on dialogue attribution? Can you think of any good examples of it done well?
Until next time.
Paul
If you are a writer with a tip to share, or fancy writing a fictional interview between you and one of your characters, please feel free to email me.
