TuesdayTips53

“At no point in the history of policing, has a criminal ever said ‘it’s a fair cop, guv.’”
This was the response of a retired senior police officer when I asked him about his views on swearing in police procedurals.
It goes without saying that most criminals don’t wish to be apprehended, and are wont to disclose their displeasure verbally at the arresting officer.
So how should one deal with this in crime fiction?
I will assume for the purposes of this post that you are a writer of fiction for adults – the debate about what is acceptable if your target audience is 8-12 years or below is doubtless a vigorous one, but I’m going to hazard a guess that the C word and the F-bomb are off limits.The problem with swearing is it can be a very divisive issue. If one takes profanity in society as a whole, modern attitudes may well have become more relaxed in recent years, but there are still those that hate it with a passion. On the flipside, there are those who love a good bit of clever swearing. Billy Connelly, famous for his remarkable fluency with four-letter words, strongly disputes the notion that people swear because they have a limited vocabulary or they lack imagination, and I agree. To writers, vocabulary is a tool, and we take care when choosing the words we use  including expletives. Some writers seem to eff and jeff at every turn, and it is tempting to assume that they just throw those words down with little thought. Nothing could be farther from the truth. That initial draft will have been scrutinised repeatedly and every word that makes it through – profane or not – has fought for its place.

Scriptwriters for the BBC political comedy series The Thick Of It reportedly employed a swearing consultant to whom they would send scripts for vetting. Not to tone down the language, but rather to elevate it; the epic, foul-mouthed tirades uttered by the series’ Scottish spin doctor, Malcolm Tucker, verged on the poetic.

Of course it isn’t just disgruntled criminals that might swear. There are also the other characters in the story and crucially, the police themselves.
Members of HM Constabulary are trained professionals, working in a professional environment. But they are also human beings dealing with other human beings. The language you depict them using needs to be realistic. In face-to-face interactions with the public they are likely to be firm but polite, avoiding swearing as a rule – the manager of your local supermarket probably wouldn’t tell a customer to F-off, unless they were being really difficult, so neither would a police officer. When dealing with an aggressive suspect, then they may very well swear. Your job is to try and find that balance. Look at the scene you are writing, and if in doubt ask somebody else’s opinion as to whether it seems plausible or realistic.
Away from the front-line, much detective work is office-based. Consider the sort of language you might hear in a normal office, populated by typical adults.
The world of teaching has a surprising number of parallels with policing. Teachers deal with the public (pupils and occasionally parents) face-to-face all day. Sometimes those dealings can be confrontational. Swearing would neither be expected nor tolerated, except in the most extreme of circumstances (most teachers, when pressed, will admit to accidentally swearing when taken by surprise. I’m a science teacher, we handle hot objects… you get the picture). But in the staffroom, away from prying ears, the language is what you would expect: some staff never swear – because they don’t swear in daily life. Other staff would make Malcolm Tucker blush. Junior teachers would probably watch their language around the senior leadership team, but unlike the police, schools aren’t especially hierarchical.

So here is what you need to consider.

• Is it appropriate for the time and setting?
• Is it appropriate for the characters ? Don’t forget to consider each person individually. It can be an intrinsic part of that character’s voice.
• Does it fit with ‘your brand’? Readers get to know a writer’s style, and it can be jarring if basic things like profanity change significantly. It can also be embarrassing if somebody recommends you on the basis that you generally write clean, family-friendly fun but your central character calls someone a ‘C U Next Tuesday’, and tells them to ‘Foxtrot Oscar’ on the opening page of your next novel…
• Will the narrator swear, or will you confine it to dialogue? I never swear in any of my books, but some of my characters have real potty mouths! For this you need to consider the point of view – is it first or third person? Will readers feel that you are the narrator, and thus associate what is written with your personal views?
• What words do YOU feel are acceptable in your books? Some people have a real problem with the C word. Leaving aside your audience, do you feel comfortable using certain words, even if your characters probably would use them in real life?
• Just how realistic do you need to be?
• Can you avoid spelling out the swearing, but imply it? Authors of children and young adult books are limited in what they can portray, so if you want to really avoid it try seeing how they deal with the issue. Another trick (although you should use it sparingly, so that it doesn’t become silly), is to have a character start a sentence, then get interrupted or just trail off.​ “Oh for F….” started Warren, before biting his tongue. It wasn’t her fault, she was just the messenger..

So, where do you stand on swearing in books?
As always, feel free to comment here or on social media.
Until next week, all the best.
Paul